Better late than never

Actually, I am a neet too, as long as I campaigning for this NEET social concern, I have thought of myself more than ever before. I am the only child in my family, for a very long time, I have been petted  due to the toils of constant codding and pampering from my parents and other family members. Their selfess love have ever made me think like I have never need to worried about the outside world but hide behind them and being a neet forever. Unconsciously , I found that I have gradually walked away from my family and friends,  I just suddenly realized that as long as thay are giveing everything to me, however I could not bring back the same amount of return to them, and this is upset and make me apprehensive, and what is even worse is that I found I am very hard to memorize they treat me how much well every times. I think I am becoming implacable and apathetic. I understand that my life is totally wrong at this moment, I don’t want to be like a crap forever and I don’t want to regret all what I have done at this moment one day in the future.

No one wants to be like a crap, no one wants to regret one day in the future,  All  the attempt to change in the past failed because of not enough unremitting efforts. From now on, lets make some change,  although there will have many both expected and unexpected difficulties, but let’s still try to rely on ourselves to a freedom, relaxed, happy and comfortable life. Its better to adopt a new and sure footed life style, set a positive and possible goal for the future, trained ourselves with a positive attitude in order to correct this improper way of life.
At last, I want everyone to know that Its never too late to mend.

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A confession letter from an old neet!

How lucky I am!  A private letter from an old neet has been received by me a couple of weeks ago. He is not old anyway, he is only 23 years old, but he call himself as “an old garbage neet “.  Actually I believe that he are not willing to stay like a neet for any more time since he give himself a name like that and he write this letter to me . He is not willing to show himself in front of the public, however he agreed to show his thoughts to everyone else in this way as a bolg post under my neet compaignning account. I believe that he wants  to make some changes from now on and hopefully everybody else could gat some learning from this. 

Here is what he said in his confession letter:” I am from a single parent family, my mother loves me with her whole soul, and I love her very much too. For 24 years, I lived under the protection of my mother, she always tell me that there is nothing need to be worried about when she lives, and I just believed in her with this and lived that way for a very long 24 years. I feel like the love and care my mother has given to me is always come together with give-and-take conditions . Mother always put a very good attitude on me,than I am not allowed to put a bad attitude on her, Everything of my daily life was arranged and decided by my mother in the past 23 years, what I am asked is to follow the rules predefined by my mother and live in the way how she wants me to be. However, I feel increasingly restless and uncomfortable no matter how perfect the path of life she arranged for me, I have a feeling of I have never lived for my own life, but live for my mother, until now I have no ability to live alone without my mother ‘s care about everything, I am totally a garbage neet. But even if a garbage like me, could I stilled get a chance to have a new life?”

IT’S THE TIME TO MAKE SOME CHANGES!

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Actually,  it is the time to make some changes now. It may help to correct“neet”behavior of children if parents could make some changes in the economic aspect, parents should gradually reduce  the amount of”support” to their children, and to make them understand the family’s “economic accounts”, help children to form a correct concept of making money and making consumption. It like a kind of to make children”weaning” , and to help them quit the “NEET”habits. Otherwise, if it is possible to do so, it is recommended that two generations can live “separated” instead of keep living together after children grown up,  when parents allow children to live alone, they can learn to be independent and act in an effective manner. Therefore, the parents really should clearly tell the children: you have already grown up, parents do not have obligations to paying for their living expense and giving extra “support”, it is the time to play the leading role yourself and make your own life. Parents should tell children that life is what you make it. Parents cannot “support”you forever. on the one hand, parents should  tell the children  about their financial situation,children should take the burden of their own living expense.

Do you know how serious the doting parent behavior would affect children?

 

 

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1.Special Treatment

Parents are giving special treatment to these children, then Overweening consciousness is formed, when habit is formed, then they would like to ask special treatment from everywhere else, and they feel upset when they cannot get special treatment somewhere else from their family

2.Too much attention received

Making children think of they are playing the role of king in thefamily and then they would want to keep playing this role in other place, so that the child is difficult to adapt to the outside environment

3.Too much satisfaction

All requirements are satisfied by their doting parents. They can just get wahtever they want, as a result, these children only know about how to ask for things but not giveing out, and they do not cherish

4.Too much help

which resulting in these children have lack of independent ability to survive in this society. Parents would not let their children to deal with their own things and put them at their own risks, then these children could not think independently, and doing things independently even when they grow up. because they have very lack of self-care ability

5. Over-protection

If parents ever gonna to leave their children alone or to get on with other kinds, they can never learn the skills to get on with others. When these children grow up in this way, how are they going to adopt the social life, and how could they to get on well with other people in work place.

 

Detailed Answer of Doting Parents Test – serious ploblems would arise under doting parents

1. Are you Offering your children special treatment at home?

Explanation: you alway treat your  children as a little “baby ” and take extremely wonderful care of them for everything.

Children would become selfness and not mastered empathy, they only care about themselves.

2. Endless satisfied.

Explanation: you give everything you can give to your children. Or you give your children whatever they want to have.

Children would not cherish whatever they would get in the future, and cultivate the habit of waste money and everthing.

3. Can’t let go!

Explanation: worried about your children may get hurt somewhere else ,take to much part in their daily life, so make your children without a stand alone time and space.

Children woulld become timid, incompetent, lose heart, nurturance dependent psychology.  Otherwise, this kind of children would always tyrannize family members at home, however cowardly outside with other people.

4. Family members stand on different sides on children ‘s education.

Explanation: father and monther always have different opinions on education or daily event. For example, when father is correct the child and blaming it on the house rules, monther stop it and blame on father.

Children would feel difficult about the rights and wrongs, even confound right and wrong in the future.

5. Don’t let children to help with the housework.

Explanation:  do you wash clothes for your children after they are 10?

Children would become lack of sense of responsibility, and selfness.

6. Too much attention.

Explanation: The family paying lots of attention on the child, like the child is the centre of this family. This child has family members always stay with his/her, never have to have a friend or feel lonely.

Children would think they are the centre of the place, and become selfish, which would make them feel very difficult to get on well with other people at school or at the work place in the future.

7. Mass of daily life.

Explanation: Let your children to do whatever she/he wants to do ,even its a bad habit. For example spent the whole day on playing computer games, or sleep very late.

Children would become lack of upward mobility and curiosity.

8. Rewards

Explanation: always offering an reward  if you want your children to help you with something.

Children would haggle over every ounce. Doing everything by just want to get these returns.

9. Everything about your children is “serious and prior ” in your life.

Explanation: children get a little hurt by slipped down, you treated like they are just having a operation.

Children woulld become timid and incompetent, always rely on someone else to help them with their own stuff.

10. Excessive accommodation

Your children ‘s habits and favorites are the priority in your family, including foods and living styles.

Children would become selfness and and indifference.

In the end, these ones would not happen together in one family, but a doting parent always act like some of these ones, these are very serious problems, even if they are not obivious in the short term, however in a long term, the bad habits will be formed and very difficult to correct, which will affect these children’s nature in a negative way.

Test! Are you a doting father/mother or not!

1. Are you Offering your children special treatment at home?

Explanation: you alway treat your  children as a little “baby ” and take extremely wonderful care of them for everything.

2. Endless satisfied.

Explanation: you give everything you can give to your children. Or you give your children whatever they want to have.

3. Can’t let go!

Explanation: worried about your children may get hurt somewhere else ,take to much part in their daily life, so make your children without a stand alone time and space.

4. Family members stand on different sides on children ‘s education.

Explanation: father and monther always have different opinions on education or daily event. For example, when father is correct the child and blaming it on the house rules, monther stop it and blame on father.

5. Don’t let children to help with the housework.

Explanation:  do you wash clothes for your children after they are 10?

6. Too much attention.

Explanation: The family paying lots of attention on the child, like the child is the centre of this family. This child has family members always stay with his/her, never have to have a friend or feel lonely.

7. Mass of daily life.

Explanation: Let your children to do whatever she/he wants to do ,even its a bad habit. For example spent the whole day on playing computer games, or sleep very late.

8. Rewards

Explanation: always offering an reward  if you want your children to help you with something.

9. Everything about your children is “serious and prior ” in your life.

Explanation: children get a little hurt by slipped down, you treated like they are just having a operation.

10. Excessive accommodation 

Your children ‘s habits and favorites are the priority in your family, including foods and living styles.

If you fit any three or more than three, then take the hashtag of doting father/mother.

Detailed explanations will be posted in the next bolg.

why become neet?- the factors which cause neet children

The term “NEET” refers to a group of people who are normally aged over 23, they have the abbility to work but keep a status of jobless and ask their parents to pay for their live expenses.

Many experts believe that the formation of NEET is an alarm of the the way how do parents educate their children and avoid to make your children a neet.  According to the statement of an expert from educational area, the behavior of the neets is related too the improper education approach provided by their parents before six. When parents provide the improper education approach to children under six,  this will make these children lack of both independent consciousnesses and independent ability. NEET is a good example of that. After this children have grown up, they still have a subconscious to rely on their parents, they have very little independent ability in financial terms, in mind  mentally, and in their daily life. For instance, some parents keep feeding their children aged over 4; or some other parents thundered at their children when they make their clothes dirty while feeding themselves but not to correct their  eating post. These would all hurt these children’s independent spirit and self confidence. The repression and constraints put on children’s normal behavior will give negative effects to children’s characteristics, in a long term, children will be lack of independent confidence and then rely on too much from their parents.

According to the preschool education theory, people’s personalities are formed before aged six. If children have formed the habit to rely on their parents so heavily before six, then it would be so difficult to form other good habit of independent ability and confidence.